Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Men and Women are Different. . .

Of course, there are the basic anatomical differences in men and women but there is another significant difference - the "woman common cold" vs. the "man common cold.'

The "woman cold" goes like this:

She drags to work with 102 fever while swallowing what seems like razor blades on her sore throat. She carries a jumbo pack of toilet paper to catch the constant nose drip and gets home from work in time to down a couple of Tylenol before her head explodes with her killer headache. She cooks dinner and gets the kids to soccor practice sitting on the sidelines in her camp chair, hoping she can stay vertical long enough to get home and finish that load of laundry before falling into bed.

After a week of this routine, the woman feels better and can stop carrying the toilet paper, cough syrup and Tylenol to work.

The "man cold" goes like this:

He wakes up feeling a little puny and calls for his wife. He says, "I'm terribly sick and need you to do a couple of things for me. First, I need you to call my boss and tell him I won't be at work for several days. Then call the doctor and get me an appointment for today because I need to be seen immediately. You need to cancel any plans you have so you can take me to the doctor. Then go to the store and get me a few things. I need tissues but I need the kind that have lotion in them so they won't chafe my nose. Get something to make me some soup because I don't really like the canned variety. Get ice cream, popsicles and apple juice in case any medications the doctor prescribes makes me nauseated. Turn on the T.V., get me a blanket and pillow and take my temperature - and bring me a cool cloth and a glass of juice - and you need to stay in this room in case I need something else." (All said in man-whine) This routine continues every day for a week

After a week, the man feels better, has spent $440 on doctor visits, shots, and prescription medication and is looking forward to getting back to work so he can tell his office colleagues about his "near-death" experience.

2 comments:

Susan said...

You say this with such profoundly expert precision, it must have been a recent experience....

Eric Schulz said...

I'm shocked at how sexist a view that is.